Baby Gates and Baby Cakes

Did you guys know that used baby gates are a secret underground black market? Yeah, I didn’t know either.

 

The other morning I headed to a church sale of second hand baby items. I was in the market for some gates for our house since I need three and they are rather expensive. I was thrilled to find one right away and was going to buy it until a lady ran up to me and stole it out of my hand.

 

"That’s MY gate!" she said. I told her that there was no sign on it, or any indication that it was taken but she blabbered on and was standing with one of the organizers from the church so I let it go. I was furious!

I felt better though when I saw a fresh posting for three gates at a good price near me on Craigslist. I quickly emailed the posted who told me they were all gone.

Then I checked ebay. I didn’t put in a bid because I noticed that almost all of the postings I liked had at least 10 "watchers". Ugh.

 

Good thing she’s not crawling. YET.

 

In other news, I wanted to share a good recipe for baby pancakes. It’s baby friendly in that it doesn’t include eggs, milk (in pure form), sugar or salt.

 

Pumpkin Yogurt Baby Cakes

Ingredients:

• 1 cup whole wheat flour
• 2 tablespoons baking powder
• 1/2 cup pumpkin puree
• 1/2 cup whole milk yogurt
• 2 tablespoons unsweetened applesauce (optional)
• pumpkin pie spice or cinnamon (or both)
• a bit of water to thin out the mixture

Combine everything together and then add some water to thin it a little bit. Melt a little butter in the pan and cook ‘em up!

I made a large batch and put them in the freezer as well. I read that you just need to stack them with wax paper in between to prevent sticking.

I also then wrapped the stack in tin foil and put them in a freezer bag.

We ate them together last weekend and loved them!

Hope you do too

Read Full Post »

Losing the Weight

Oh baby weight. Such a fun topic, isn’t it?

 

All I can say is that it was more fun gaining it than it was losing it, but overall it wasn’t so bad. During my pregnancy I gained about 50 pounds. It is a lot of weight but I would not have changed a thing.

(40 weeks pregnant)

I honestly maintained a pretty healthy diet during pregnancy but I also had a good time with it. Especially towards the end, I enjoyed fun meals out like eating super spicy Szechuan food to induce labor, or squeezing my belly into the booth at the Vietnamese restaurant for a bowl full of Pho (which I craved constantly). Joe and I would make cinnamon rolls at home and I enjoyed every bite. We had so much fun together and those are some of the moments I really remember and cherish from my pregnancy.

 

During the first few months after delivery, things were pretty rough. I initially lost 21 pounds without doing anything, but after that it was up to me. I had about 30 lbs to lose (plus about 5 that I gained before I got pregnant). I had a large appetite due to breastfeeding, and wasn’t cooking much because things were just too crazy. I would turn to Luna Bars and Balance Bars and other quick snacks throughout the day to keep up my energy. I didn’t grocery shop often enough to stock the house with enough produce. I ate bananas, but that was about it.

Eating with Olivia in the Moby

After getting the green light at my 6 week checkup, I also started exercising more. It was slow going though because I had some bad pelvic pains afterwards. I was still healing, exhausted, and exercising with an additional 30 pounds on me was not easy on my joints. I admit that sometimes I tried to do  too much. I just wanted to bounce back so fast, but my body wasn’t ready yet.

 

About a month postpartum

After 8 weeks, I joined Weight Watchers. I heard great things about their plan for nursing moms and I was excited about attending the meetings. I would bring Olivia in the stroller and sit in the back and wheel her back and forth. It felt good to get out of the house and to have a plan to motivate me but also help me protect my milk supply.

 

I must admit though that during this time I felt a bit uncomfortable in my own skin. It was summer time so I couldn’t hide. And none of my clothes fit. Maternity clothes did not fit right, but my old clothes were a ways away from fitting again. I mean…realllllly far away. I would see myself in pictures and be surprised at what I looked like. I have never been skinny, but I’ve never carried my weight in my stomach (mostly in my lower half), so it was strange to see this body. I didn’t know how to dress it (and also dress in nursing friendly clothing)which wrecked havoc on my confidence. I felt unfashionable and unhappy.

 
But I’ve never given up. Never thrown in the towel. I kept on with my consistent small weekly losses (and sometimes gains), and slowly started cooking more and moving more.

 

When Olivia turned 6 months, my body started to change. I saw some bigger losses and I started to get narrower all over. I think it may have to do with breastfeeding as that starts to change now that she is eating solids. Who knows. I can say that I am in the camp that feels that breastfeeding helps with weight loss. I have had very consistent losses even when my eating was not good, so I attribute that to the extra burn it gives me.

 

So how am I doing now? (if you’re still reading) Since starting Weight Watchers in the beginning of April I’ve lost 28 lbs. Which brings my total loss to 49 lbs. I have 6 more to go until I’m at my goal. My goal is a healthy weight for my height and one that I’ve maintained before. I feel healthier, more energetic, and really really proud of myself.

Volunteering last weekend- Keep in mind I’m wearing 3 shirts

 

Throughout this journey I’ve had times where I was hard on myself but mostly I’ve been kind to my body. It’s done amazing things. And it continues to do amazing things.  I never expected to be one of those women that walked out of the hospital in her skinny jeans, but when you walk out with a beautiful, healthy baby, nothing else matters.

Read Full Post »

Leaving Survival Mode

I was cruising the baby center forums the other day and came across a "What Do you Do All Day?" post from another mom. After reading through many of the responses about what these women (with more than one child) were accomplishing throughout the day I decided to give my day a long hard look.

 

Was I doing enough? Am I an adequate stay at home mom? Am I getting out of the house often enough?

 

I figured that at this point I could probably be taking on a little more and not letting fear of a mid project wake up or a mid errand meltdown get me down. I realized that it’s time for me to get out of survival mode and really start living again. I also wanted to step up my game in taking care of my home and cooking more exciting meals. I don’t need to make the same 5 things over and over again just because they can be made quickly.

Vietnamese Grilled Pork Noodle Bowl (not the best recipe, but I will work on it and get back to you)

Part of the reason that things have bit a little hard is the fact that Olivia has silent reflux which has made feeding her very difficult. This has been very emotionally exhausting and really upsetting for both of us. She is now on medicine much to my dismay, but it is working and she is eating better. She is still a nightmare to feed in public, but that’s just life with a distractible 5 month old I guess.

 

I think I was in survival mode a bit too long, but I guess there really aren’t any technicalities on that. I have a great and happy baby but I often let nerves get the best of me. I am glad that I have been able to acknowledge my state of mind and move away from it. I realized that if I don’t start enjoying these moments that they will soon be gone. Fear will always be here. These days with my first baby girl are fleeting.

 

Read Full Post »

Facing my Fears

Motherhood is many things, but one of the most valuable things it has been teaching me lately is to face my fears head on.

 

I’m a nervous nelly by nature, so it wasn’t surprising to me that I fall into the category of "moms that worry about everything". Although I’d love to be a completely chill and relaxed mom, it’s just not me.

 

Each day I pretty much have to overcome my worries though- because life is moving ahead and I need to move and adapt with it. Some of my recent worries have involved traveling with the baby.

Since our family is all out of town, I knew we’d be on the road a lot with Olivia. Seems fine in theory but once it was time to actually do it, I worried about whether or not she’d be comfortable in the car, would she poop the minute we got on the highway? If we leave in between feedings will she be screaming to eat when we are stuck in traffic? What if we are on a bridge and she’s hungry? How will she be when in a new place? Will she sleep? Will she nap well? (and so on and so forth).

 

But we’re not going to stay home all of the time- it’s so important that Olivia knows her grandparents and extended family. Joe and I made a choice to be together and as a result away from family, so this is the life we will live. We need to embrace it. And we have.

 

Visiting my Dad and stepmom in NJ

Visiting my mom,sister and nephew in CT

Visiting Joe’s family in Pittsburgh

Then there are the everyday fears. These may seem ridiculous to you, but they are real to me!

 

I worry sometimes that I will dress Olivia wrong and then she will be too hot or too cold. I did this the other day when it looked grey and cloudy and cold but was really humid. She ended up being very hot and I had to strip her down to her onesie. But the next day the weather changed again, and we suited up and headed out.  This time I remembered to step outside first.

 

Both times I ventured to the new Wegman’s in town, Olivia has been in rare form. The first time we made it in, but she was very cranky and upset the whole time. Then earlier this week we went back and she was so hysterical that I had to put my groceries back and leave. For whatever reason, it wasn’t working. I realized later that I was going to the store during her nap time. It was over stimulating and she was getting upset. This time, I fed her, she napped and we went out when she was rested. Additionally, I wore her this time (another fear that I faced because I never put her in a carrier outside the house before).

 

I haven’t had much luck with babywearing although I really want it to work for us. I can’t get the Ergo quite right (I think it will be easier when she can spread her legs across my body instead of froggy), and she hated the sling, mei tai, and moby. I have a Bjorn Air, that was my sisters but I wasn’t sure about using it because there are articles about it affecting baby hips. However, Olivia seemed to like the Bjorn and it is easy to use. I see a ton of people using them and figured that 30 minutes once a week is not going to do anything to hurt her. So yesterday we went for it.

 

And she loved it. And we got the shopping done.

 

Being a mom is so rewarding for so many reasons and I love it. But one of the more unexpected upsides is seeing what I am capable of. From labor to the initial pain of breastfeeding, to the every day ups and downs I am getting stronger each day. And it feels really, really, good.

Read Full Post »

Too much to say

Hi!

I’ve been wanting to blog for a while. There is so much going on in my head that I’ve been wanting to share, but I just haven’t really had the motivation to transfer the thoughts from my head into writing. Mostly I feel like there is just TOO much to say at this point, so I’ll try and touch on some of the main things in my new mom life in the most honest way possible. The focus of my updates are going to be mostly about me and my experiences as a new mom. I’m not planning on writing updates on Olivia’s development. She is a happy healthy baby and doing great! I’m hoping that what I write will be able to help other new moms out there to not feel alone. Often times we only see the positives about new motherhood, but I think there is more to say. If you are a new mom, I’d love to hear from you in the comment section!

Postpartum Blues

While I know that I do/did not have postpartum depression, I can still admit to you guys that I cried every day for a while in the beginning. Call it hormones, call it sleep deprivation, call it serious nipple pain, or just the plain old fact of accepting that life as I know it is changed forever, it was tough at first. Additionally I was basically stuck in the house for 8 weeks, so that didn’t help. I would certainly say that I had a case of the baby blues, but at the same time, I’d also say that I am completely normal. I can’t imagine that other new moms never feel this way. I think they probably just don’t admit it. It’s really easy to feel guilty about it (and everything else), but we are human and not perfect new mommy robots. While there is no doubt that I am completely head over heels in love with my daughter, I still believe that there is a time in a new mom’s life where she grieves a little for her old way of living. How can you not? Now that it is done though- I must say that I think staying in for that first 8 weeks was a great thing. It really allowed me to get to know my baby- understand her cues and natural routine, and allowed my body to heal.

(fyi Olivia is not really a Moby lover. This lasted about 3 minutes)

 

Postpartum Body Update

Things are going well in this department. Well at least according to me. I never really expected to be one of those women who could walk out of the hospital in her pre-pregnancy jeans and I was right about that. Of the 45 lbs I gained while pregnant I’ve lost 27. Without any effort I lost the first 20. The 7 after that have come more recently. I joined Weight Watchers 4 weeks ago and it has been working. I’ve also been more active (running, walking, Turbo Fire) and cooking a lot more. I think my milk supply is more established now, so I’m hoping my body will continue to allow the weight to come off. I love Weight Watchers and I find it completely do-able. I get a ton of points because I’m nursing, and I really feel like there is nothing I can’t have. I also like the fact that I know if I stay within my points that I am safely dieting to protect my supply. Just winging it would have been a little more difficult. I’m pretty sure I would have under ate if I did it on my own.

 

My daily menu usually looks like:

S: Banana

B: Oatmeal with flax, berries, peanut butter and a splash of almond milk, coffee

S: Balance Bar

L: Turkey sandwich, grapes

S: 6-8 ounces of 0% chobani with peanut flour

D: A balanced meal- protein, carb, veggie

S: Two Trader Joe’s Hold the Cone mini ice cream cones (Have you tried these?!  SO GOOD and only 70 calories each)

 

Sometimes I feel a bit uncomfortable in my new body, but other times I could really care less. Unlike previous attempts to lose weight, this time I am a lot nicer to myself. I know it’s going to be a process and I don’t have any plans to do anything extreme to get back my body faster than it’s ready. I always cringed at the saying, "9 months on, 9 months off", but now that I’ve seen how fast these 3 months have gone, I feel like the weight will be off in no time.

Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is still challenging in new and different ways. After about 8 weeks the pain finally was completely gone which was amazing. However, Olivia and I are still working on other things. I have a fast flow and strong let down which can be upsetting to babies sometimes as they get a lot of milk at once. It causes her to cry during feedings sometimes and also get frustrated at other times if my supply is lower and she doesn’t get the fast flow. She also gets upset if I try to feed her before she is hungry. I thought that my baby would be pretty happy to nurse at almost any time, but she isn’t quite like that. She will get really worked up if I attempt it and she doesn’t want it. So I really need to watch her for hunger signals. She also spits up a bit, and will do that even more if she isn’t hungry enough to digest all of the milk. It hurts my heart sometimes to see that I’m making my little girl upset by trying to nurse her, but I am hoping this is something we can continue to work through. She eats 6 times a day lately and I try to monitor the times to see how she is spacing feedings. Typically it is (4am, 8am, 12pm, 2:30pm, 5:30pm, 8:30pm). I’ve also started getting more comfortable feeding her outside of the house although it’s a bit challenging. At home I can use a pillow to angle her a little bit (to help with the flow), and sometimes when we are out I can’t get the positioning quite right. But we’re working on it. So far I’ve nursed at the Cheesecake Factory (with a cover), in my car (a few times), and at Bloomingdales and Nordstroms. I have to say that I don’t think I was fully prepared for the emotional and physical wear and tear of breastfeeding. I always imagined it would be easy and instant, but it’s a long road and it takes a lot of determination, strength, and love to keep going when it’s hard.

Social Life

I’m currently working on meeting some new mommy friends. It’s not the easiest thing, but it’s important. I don’t have any family around here so my week days can be a little bit isolating.  I started to feel a bit lonely and most of my friends, while still involved in my life, are living a very different lifestyle than me.  I am staying home for now, so it will be nice to have other stay at home mom friends to get together with during the day for walks, play dates, coffee, etc. When you think about it, it’s a hard time to get out there and be social. You have nothing to wear, you haven’t showered in 3 days, there is spit up on your shoulder, you worry that every time you leave the house your baby is going to need to eat or poop, your mind is so mushy you can’t really make the best conversation, and you have a little one with you that may or may not be in the mood for socializing. It’s tough, but I am determined. I know that if I feel this way, other new moms out there do too, and we can bond over all of this stuff. It’s funny how much I notice other moms now when I’m out. I make an effort to talk to people with babies all the time because it just feels good. 9 times out of 10 other women are super receptive to the conversation. I think we all share that feeling of living in our isolated mom worlds.

There is much more that I could talk about at this point, but I’m hoping I’ll be back to do that soon.

Read Full Post »

Things we like and don’t like so much

I remember when I had to register for my baby shower having NO CLUE what we needed. I had some great things that my sister gave me, but I also knew that I wanted to get some new things for Olivia and I didn’t really know where to begin.

 

My mom and in-laws took care of basically everything in the nursery. We got the furniture from a local baby store that was great. If you can, I highly recommend seeing if there is one near you. There were many benefits to shopping at a local store.

1. Ours was an older store that had been there for YEARS and YEARS. The folks that worked there were extremely knowledgeable and helpful.

2. They had a great selection but not an endless one. The internet has endless options- it can be difficult to narrow it down.

3. They delivered and put together the crib (it was actually their policy that they require that they put it together). The installers were from the store and not contracted out, and it took them 10 minutes to assemble everything.

 

Anyway, some of the other things that have really helped us are:

 

Brest Friend Nursing Pillow- INVALUABLE. Helped me SO much for positioning for feeding. It also clips around your waist so you can keep it on if you need to get up for a diaper change. In the middle of the night when I feed Olivia I snap it on, pick her up from the bassinet and walk into the nursery with the pillow still on.  I feed her on one side, swing the pillow around so the big part is in the back, change her, swing it back around, and feed on the other side. (This may not make any sense to you right now, but if you have the pillow and you’re trying to figure out night feedings with one set of hands you will see what I mean about my strategy).

Arms Reach Co-sleeper- We tried a few things when it came to where Olivia would sleep. Initially we put her in a bassinet upstairs in our room. While she slept just fine, I didn’t. I hated that I couldn’t see her and at first I really didn’t know what all of her crazy noises meant. Was she grunting because she couldn’t breathe? Then when she wouldn’t make any noises I’d freak out too. My sister gave us a Snuggle Nest Co-sleeper so we tried that first. It was nice at first but ultimately neither of us wanted her in our bed. We both worried about rolling on her or accidentally putting a pillow or blanket too close to her. And since we were so deliriously tired, it just felt unsafe. Eventually we bought the Arms Reach co sleeper which is the best of both worlds. She is right next to me so I can see her, reach her to rock her a bit or replace her pacifier, but she is not IN bed with us.

 

Fisher Price Piano Mat- We got this mat as a gift and it has been awesome. It really makes "playing" so much more fun! It’s not that easy to play with a newborn and when I watch her on this mat, I can tell she enjoys it. It gives her stimulation because she looks in the mirror, swats the animals and when she moves her legs they hit the piano keys and play music. It’s fun for her and fun for me too. The bar also can be laid down with the mirror facing up for tummy time. She hates tummy time, but I try it anyway.

Two Changing Tables/Two Bassinets- We were fortunate enough to have an extra changing table given to us by my mom and an extra bassinet that my sister gave me. But let me tell you, they are lifesavers. We spend most of our time downstairs during the day and it would be pretty exhausting to have to go upstairs to change Olivia every time she had a dirty diaper. It also is a convenient place to change her before and after bath time. I guess I could change her on a mat on the floor, but it’s nice to have a place for everything (diapers, creams, burp cloths, etc). Upstairs I just put a changing mat on top of the dresser. As for the bassinet, when we started to use the Arms Reach, we brought the other one we had downstairs. Olivia takes naps in it and I know it is a safe place to put her if I’m not in the immediate vicinity since it doesn’t move or vibrate or anything like that.

 

Kushies Mobile- It may not match anything in the nursery, but she loves it. After I change her in the morning I put her in her crib and she enjoys staring at it for a long time. It is fun for her and I can put in my contacts and brush my teeth. All of the Zolo/Kushies stuff we have has been a pretty big hit with her.

A bazillion burp cloths/cloth diapers- We didn’t have even close to what we needed. I use these for EVERYTHING.

 

Fisher Price Snugabunny Swing- I’ve mentioned this before, but this swing is a lifesaver. She loves it, we love it. The fact that it swings side to side is really what I think makes it soothing.

 

Bouncy Seat/Vibrating Seat- While Olivia doesn’t LOVE her vibrating chair, she will tolerate it while I’m in the shower or drying my hair. Mostly because she enjoys the sounds of the water from the shower and white noise from the dryer. Either way, I think its necessary to have something like this that you can bring into the bathroom.

 

Swaddle Me- Swaddling isn’t hard, but my super strong baby was busting out of any single blanket swaddle I did. Since it’s getting warm I don’t want to always have to wrap her in two blankets. These work great and they are lightweight cotton, and only $12.99 at Babies R Us.

Things that didn’t really work for us (or at least not yet)

Boppy - Awkward and uncomfortable for breastfeeding (too high and didn’t really work with a postpartum tummy)

 

Boppy lounger- Olivia was never happy on here unless she was already asleep and swaddled. Looked so comfy, I thought she would love it.

 

Aden & Anais swaddle blankets- I love the way they feel and the fact that they are so lightweight but busted out every time. And yes, I watched a million videos on HOW to swaddle with these blankets in particular.

 

Moby Wrap- Meh. It was okay at first but as she got bigger I didn’t love it. I felt her head was too wobbly because she didn’t want to tuck it inside the pocket. It’s also hard to get on quickly. I thought I would be more of a baby wearer than I actually am.

 

Ergo Infant Insert- I really like the way the Ergo feels and how secure it is, but the thing is HOT. Add the insert which is like a down comforter and bring on the sweat. I wish there was a layer between the Ergo and me, but Olivia is right on my chest, so when I get hot, she gets hot. I took her out of it after a walk one day and I was nervous about how warm we both were. Not a fan.

I hope this is helpful to any new moms out there!

 

What are your baby essentials? What were some things that you thought you would need/want but didn’t?

Read Full Post »

Schedule (sort-of)

When our family left and Joe went back to work and I was on my own with Olivia I was pretty nervous about how our day would be. To be completely honest, some of the first days were really tough (and Olivia is a really good baby).

 

The days were tough because I had too many expectations about what our day would look like. You just can’t do that with a newborn (in my opinion). You have to let them lead the way and try and be as flexible as you can. In that first week I cried around 4pm everyday. It would start to get dark, Olivia would start to get fussy, and I would be getting very tired. I think my nervous energy just made things worse.

 

I would Google constantly trying to find some kind of schedule to make things easier for both Olivia and myself. If you’re reading this post right now, you may have searched for the same thing. Although no one else’s schedule is necessarily right for your baby, I think it’s helpful as a new mom to see what other people are doing. So here is our current schedule which reflects most days, but some days we have no schedule at all. I’ve included the fussy day routine and the sleepy day routine because Olivia’s mood really does effect what our day looks like.

 

8 ish: Olivia wakes up, she sleeps in a co-sleeper in our room. (We use the Arms Reach bassinet)

I let her stretch and wake up a bit and then feed her in my bed. On fussy days I sometimes need to feed her in the nursery because she moves around a lot while eating and we can’t get in sync as well as we do in the glider.

 

8:30 or so: Diaper change and dress for the day. I put Olivia in her crib and she moves her arms and legs and plays. She looks at her mobile, I go put in my contact lenses, use the bathroom, and sometimes go grab a cup of coffee to drink while playing with her. (*tip, always use the auto setting on your coffee maker the night before so its ready when you get up) At the end of her play session we do tummy time for a minute or two (or 30 seconds). If she’s fussy this playtime is shorter, but usually she is in a good mood at this time. I never push it, and if she gets upset, I take her out right away.

9am: Come downstairs, walk around, often another diaper change. Try to put Olivia in the swing for a nap. On fussy days she isn’t having any part of the swing and usually wails when I put her in it and makes me feel guilty for trying. So instead I walk her around more, go into the bathroom with the loud fan that she likes, swaddle her, give her a pacifier and attempt to lay her in her bassinet downstairs for a nap. Usually she will go down if she is calm, but may stir and wake up a bunch of times. Often she will bust out of my swaddle and lose the pacifier, so I just stay calm (try), reswaddle her and give her back the pacifier.

9:45: Pump.If she is fussy, I may skip this in order to eat because who knows how long she will nap.

10am (or so): Clean pump if I did that, and then eat breakfast. Most days I make egg whites on a bagel thin with turkey and spinach. A banana on the side. Fussy days I usually eat oatmeal because it’s faster. I load it with banana, walnuts, raisins and some flax seed. Calorie dense is good because mealtimes may be infrequent. I pour some cold almond milk on top to lower the temp so I can eat it quickly. Then I run around and try to get things done- laundry, dinner prep, prep my lunch and snacks for the rest of the day so they are easily available, etc. 

11:30 Depending on nap time…feed Olivia again, diaper change, lay her down to play on her playmat or bring her upstairs and put her in the bouncy seat while I shower and do things upstairs. Some days she hates the bouncy seat (most days), so time is limited. Yesterday as soon as I got all wet in the shower she spit out her pacifier and started wailing. I got a bit flustered thinking about how to run out of the shower soaking wet and pick her up to soothe her without clothing. Fortunately by the time I got out she was somewhat calm and I was able to hurry up and put a robe on. It was kind of funny actually.

 

From here it’s kind of hard to remember what we do. She will eat again, nap again, and there will be a bunch more diaper changes. Usually the order is- eat, diaper change, play a little (or something like that), she gets sleepy, I try and soothe her and put her back down.

 

Anywhere from 2-4pm : We venture out on a walk. Even on non-fussy days she cries when I put her in the carseat. I run downstairs to bring the diaper bag down, and then the carseat, and load her into the car. I can’t walk safely with her right out the door since we live on a busy road, so we drive to the park and walk for about a half hour.

 

3pm (or so): Another feeding (often a fussy one), usually followed by a nap on my chest. I often take this time to close my eyes as well.

 

4/5pm: Diaper change, playtime, etc. Sometimes there is another feeding because she spaces them closer together as the day goes on. If she eats and naps for a little, I’ll use this time to prepare dinner or clean up a little bit before Joe gets home.

5:45/6pm: Joe comes home, I hand him Olivia and get dinner ready, or I will go out and do something (quick trip to the gym, grocery store, etc). Sometimes she will hang out in the swing and we eat together, other times we eat in shifts. After dinner Joe usually holds Olivia and she rests but doesn’t sleep really.  I’ll get the bath ready if she is taking one (every other night usually)

 

6:30- 8:30-: More resting, another feeding, bathtime, PJ’s and then she goes upstairs into the nursery. Joe will give her a bottle and I will pump, or I will feed her. Either way, her last pre-bed feeding is always the same. In the nursery, lights down low, she eats, gets swaddled and then goes down in her co-sleeper. We try and do the same thing every night so she knows it’s bedtime. So far it’s working. When we put her down, usually she is awake but quiet and eventually falls asleep. One of us lays in there while the other gets a snack downstairs and then we switch.

 

9:30/9:45-I’m in bed and sleeping.

 

1am (or so): First night feeding, I take Olivia into the nursery. Feed one side, diaper change, feed other side

 

4 or 5am (or so): Second night feeding.

 

7:30/8am: Up for the day/repeat!

Read Full Post »

Blah Blah Huh?

That’s what it kind of sounds like in my brain right now. Serious baby brain going on.

I guess that’s what happens when you spend your entire day with an infant. And I’m really not making this up. I got on the phone with my mom yesterday and for the first 10 minutes I was struggling to come up with complete sentences.

 

When Joe comes home from work at night I feel like I attack him with

1.) Please take the baby and 2.) Please talk to me

 

With this in mind I knew it was time to get myself some social interaction. Preferably with other moms who can understand where I"m coming from and maybe offer some tips on new mom stuff like:

1. Passing off sweatpants as real pants

2. How to reassure your husband that you’ll one day look presentable again

3. Help with mom guilt for things like – putting my baby in the swing so I can pump and shovel in breakfast

 

Unfortunately at Olivia’s one month checkup yesterday the pediatrician said that she can’t accompany me to places like new mom groups yet because she is too little. Other kids and just other people in general put her at risk to get sick (it is still flu season). She also put the kibosh on trips to the grocery store, and pretty much anywhere that isn’t a solo walk in the park.

 

So…

 

I’m a little upset, and I feel a little isolated on planet newborn. But I’ve decided to do a few things that I hope will help. (excuse me while I make another numbered list, this is the easiest way for me to write these days with mushbrain)

 

1. Focus on the positive – I’m learning how to be a mom, I will have this time to really bond with my baby, my baby is healthy (11 pounds!) and she sleeps incredibly well (4 hour stretches at night)!

 

2. Get out of the house even if it is a solo mission – Today I’m joining a small gym near my house. It’s not a deluxe place by any means, but it’s close by and I can get there for a quick workout when Joe comes home a few nights a week. I’m not cleared for exercise yet, but I’m going to walk on the treadmill and stretch. I just need the endorphins.

 

3. Make plans for weekends- I need to get out and see some friends

 

4. Remind myself that happy mom= happy baby.

 

 
ANY TIPS FOR ME on getting through this phase?

Read Full Post »

It Gets Better

And we’re still not out of the woods yet.

I still get up for 1am and 4am feedings.

I still sometimes don’t remember the 1am feeding and freak out at the 4am feeding that the baby just slept for a million hours.

 

I’m less afraid of my breast pump. Actually not afraid at all anymore and seeing as the key to my freedom.

 

I was actually able to clean, grocery shop, make dinner and get an eyebrow wax over the course of the past week. Taking advantage of help when you get it, and making getting out of the house a priority has been of the utmost importance.

 

I had my first beer, and my first date night with Joe.

 

Even at home with no additional help, Joe and I have actually eaten dinner together the past couple of nights. I owe that to our newest investment:

 

The Fisher Price Snugabunny Swing

It swings sideways like a cradle and plays sounds, and she just LOVES it. She can’t possibly love it as much as I do. It honestly feels like cheating after weeks of back breaking manual swinging and rocking and walking all around the house. My friend Diana allowed us to try hers first and it worked like a dream- it was great to get to test drive it before shelling out $160. I can’t even tell you how many times someone says "You need (insert baby product here)" and I buy it and Olivia hates it. (Note: the snugabunny vibrating bouncy chair in the next photo is an example of this. Don’t let her comfy face fool you)

 

And also I’ve allowed Olivia to start taking a pacifier now that I’m less nervous about nipple confusion. She uses the MAM newborn.

There’s a lot more that I want to update you on, but Olivia is waking up and duty calls.

 

Till next time!

Read Full Post »

Things other people may not tell you…

About being a new mom.

 

1. You’re going to be petrified. Of hurting your baby, of not knowing what to do when she cries, of not being a good mom, or making the right choices. You’ll google everything and find answers on both sides of every argument. (On demand? Schedule? Bath every night? Bath 2 times a week? Am I playing with her enough? ) You’ll also compare yourself to other moms, and to the mom you THOUGHT you would be.

 

2. Breastfeeding is hard. And painful, and everyone will see your boobs. And talk about your boobs. And your life will pretty much revolve around your boobs. Getting breastfeeding figured out is hard, and scary, and I’m 3 weeks in and I’m still figuring it out. Olivia is eating well and gaining weight- but I know I don’t have it all down pat just yet. I need my Brest friend pillow, and my lanolin cream and a whole slew of other props and cannot at all envision myself being able to go out in public and have to nurse her. Hopefully soon I can wrap my head around it.

3. Your body is in a strange place. I gained a decent amount of weight while pregnant. Okay fine, I gained 40 pounds. Okay, I gained 45. I want to admit that because I’m tired of reading blogs where women only gain 20 pounds and are still freaking about it. I gained 45 pounds. Since coming home from the hospital I lost 23. But I’m still in maternity clothes, I still have a lot to lose, and my body is so….smushy, and wide. I’m not worried about losing the weight right now- but I do plan to join weight watchers when I get the okay from my doctor.

(3 weeks post partum)

4. Life as I know it has changed. And there have been times where I feel like it is over. Sometimes when it’s 3am and I’m alone feeding Olivia in the nursery I stare out the window and wonder if I’ll ever sleep again. And then I get a grip. But trust me, when you’re inside the house for weeks at a time and are a slave to 3 hour feeding windows and 1 hour napping windows, it just doesn’t feel normal. The other day I had finally set Olivia down for a nap and just barely finished making eggs before she cried. I tried to eat some of the egg, got yolk all over myself and burned my throat so badly because I tried to eat the egg before it cooled so I could get to the basinet in time to rescue the baby. It still hurts to swallow.

5. I watch more TV, but appointment television is OVER. I almost cried tears of joy when Joe and I got to watch Modern Family the other night.

 

6. I cry a lot. Happy tears, sad tears, scared tears, hormonal tears…you will cry.

 

7. And I sweat a lot. I have major night sweats (normal after birth as your body rids of extra fluids).

 

8. I’m terrified of my breast pump.

 

9. I’ll never view mothers in the same way again. I cannot believe how hard this is. And now I look at every mom I know that has been through it, and I am so impressed and in awe.

10. I don’t think I’ll ever see my husband the same way again. Seeing Joe as a father is the most incredible thing. I just can’t get enough of the way he rocks her, swaddles her, calms her, and calms me when I am a complete sweaty basket case that thinks I’m not good enough at this, or capable of doing it alone when he is gone.

The love overwhelms it all, and ultimately I am so happy- but I wanted you to know that it’s not all rainbows and butterflies, and it’s not all natural. You will need help, and advice, and you will be scared. But it’s all worth it, and I’m hoping that with each day it gets easier for me.

 

Read Full Post »