Motherhood is many things, but one of the most valuable things it has been teaching me lately is to face my fears head on.
I’m a nervous nelly by nature, so it wasn’t surprising to me that I fall into the category of "moms that worry about everything". Although I’d love to be a completely chill and relaxed mom, it’s just not me.
Each day I pretty much have to overcome my worries though- because life is moving ahead and I need to move and adapt with it. Some of my recent worries have involved traveling with the baby.
Since our family is all out of town, I knew we’d be on the road a lot with Olivia. Seems fine in theory but once it was time to actually do it, I worried about whether or not she’d be comfortable in the car, would she poop the minute we got on the highway? If we leave in between feedings will she be screaming to eat when we are stuck in traffic? What if we are on a bridge and she’s hungry? How will she be when in a new place? Will she sleep? Will she nap well? (and so on and so forth).
But we’re not going to stay home all of the time- it’s so important that Olivia knows her grandparents and extended family. Joe and I made a choice to be together and as a result away from family, so this is the life we will live. We need to embrace it. And we have.
Visiting my Dad and stepmom in NJ
Visiting my mom,sister and nephew in CT
Visiting Joe’s family in Pittsburgh
Then there are the everyday fears. These may seem ridiculous to you, but they are real to me!
I worry sometimes that I will dress Olivia wrong and then she will be too hot or too cold. I did this the other day when it looked grey and cloudy and cold but was really humid. She ended up being very hot and I had to strip her down to her onesie. But the next day the weather changed again, and we suited up and headed out. This time I remembered to step outside first.
Both times I ventured to the new Wegman’s in town, Olivia has been in rare form. The first time we made it in, but she was very cranky and upset the whole time. Then earlier this week we went back and she was so hysterical that I had to put my groceries back and leave. For whatever reason, it wasn’t working. I realized later that I was going to the store during her nap time. It was over stimulating and she was getting upset. This time, I fed her, she napped and we went out when she was rested. Additionally, I wore her this time (another fear that I faced because I never put her in a carrier outside the house before).
I haven’t had much luck with babywearing although I really want it to work for us. I can’t get the Ergo quite right (I think it will be easier when she can spread her legs across my body instead of froggy), and she hated the sling, mei tai, and moby. I have a Bjorn Air, that was my sisters but I wasn’t sure about using it because there are articles about it affecting baby hips. However, Olivia seemed to like the Bjorn and it is easy to use. I see a ton of people using them and figured that 30 minutes once a week is not going to do anything to hurt her. So yesterday we went for it.
And she loved it. And we got the shopping done.
Being a mom is so rewarding for so many reasons and I love it. But one of the more unexpected upsides is seeing what I am capable of. From labor to the initial pain of breastfeeding, to the every day ups and downs I am getting stronger each day. And it feels really, really, good.
I’m all about the baby wearing at the store. Glad you gave it a go, really helps get the shopping done. Perching her in baby bucket freaked me out!
I think we all have these fears. I’m flying to DC next weekend with Brie all by myself. She and I travel pretty well, but it’s still causing me worry. But life goes on and she’s coming with. Same for your little Olivia I think.
She’s adorable btw. Geeze, so cute!
I’m a big time worrier too. I don’t even like people holding her for a fear they may drop her and she’ll hit her head on our tile floor (I even had a nightmare about this once and woke up in a panic). I’m constantly worrying as well, but about things that wont happen.
I try to dress Cameryn so she’ll be cool rather than hot since I can always put socks on her or wrap her up in a blanket. And I do worry about her staying cool when she is in her car seat in the car, if the air is getting to her or not. Also, since we live in AZ we are having multiple wild fires and our air is so smokey, so now I’m worried about bringing her anywhere as I don’t want her to breathe any of the smoke!
C usually falls asleep in her car seat so I just pop the car seat onto a stroller when we go out. But it sucks because both TJ’s and our local organic grocery store don’t have carts big enough for her car seat so I’m pushing the stroller with one hand while holding a very heavy basket filled with grocerys. I hate it and it sucks, but it is what it is. C also usually cries pretty bad when were at Target, so I end up taking her out of the car seat and holding her in one arm while pushing the cart in the other. So not fun, but I think most other mom’s can relate!
Traveling is another thing I worry about too. Since we live away from all family too, we’re flying to Minnesota from Arizona, a 3 hour flight, in just a few more weeks. I’m worried she’ll poop multiple times, will cry, will become fussy and inconsolable, will be in pain from the pressure changes, will be agitated, wont sleep and so on. I also worry about what to pack for her, how I’m going to pump and feed her once there, where she’s going to sleep, how we’ll get her to the airport since we usually park at parking spot and take their shuttle over (C can’t ride on the shuttle since there isn’t a car seat for her) and other things like bringing pumped milk through security, checking her car seat, car seat base and stroller (is that what most family do?) I think if she cries I’ll just buy everyone sitting around us a round of drinks, even if we do have a 9am flight! I read this somewhere and thought it was a good idea. I know I hate when other babies cry on planes, it drives me insane, but it is what it is!
I think it is our job to worry about making sure our little ones are completely comfortable and happy and I think as time goes on we’ll let down our guards a bit, and also be more relaxed with baby number two. Just think, we’ve only been mom’s for a few months. We’re still new at this and trying to figure it all out! I think we’re doing a pretty dang good job for being so new!
Sorry for writing you a novel, but I can totally relate to how you’re feeling.
I really appreciate your novel!
Thanks for commenting, it’s so nice to know I’m not alone in this worry mode! I really do think it will get easier and less nerve wracking the more we do. Each time I do something scary and new I feel like I will be able to do it the next time and it will be easier.
Im turning into a nervous mama and I’m only 19 weeks preg!! I’m glad she liked the Bjorn. I registered for a carrier. I love reading about your honest view on motherhood so far. It’s very welcome and refreshing. So many people sugar coat it and don’t say how it really is. If you are an expecting mother like me, you need and appreciate that realness.
I enjoy reading your blog posts so much I’ve nominated you for the Food Stories Award for Excellence in storytelling! You can find the blog post all about it at http://onegirlstasteonlife.com/2012/05/30/procrastination/. Thank you for your wonderful stories!
You’re doing great Jamie! I think it’s completely normal to be nervous — we all have our moments! Oddly, I’m usually a high-strung person and a worrier, but Sawyer has made me less so. Case in point, we just did our first cross-country flight this past week and I didn’t get worked up at all (okay, not at all, but only for a few moments right at take off and landing since I didn’t want his ears to pop).
As for the baby carrying, Bean will go in his Bjorn (Active) for walking the dog, but he doesn’t love being in there for extended periods of time..like once we get home, he wants out. It’s probably a good thing because carrying a 16+ lb baby all the time is no joke!