Maybe it’s just me.. (I don’t think it is)…but I’ve realized that ever since I’ve been pregnant I’ve felt some pressure to be the perfect, cute, healthy pregnant lady.
I think in the back of my mind, I was always worried about this- but now some of my fears are being realized.
As a curvier person who has battled with weight for many years, I always wondered if people would even know that I was pregnant and not just think "she let herself go". I also feared that all of the work it took to finally get me to a happy place with my body would be lost.
On top of these fears came the fact that my plantar fasciitis had stopped me from working out for quite sometime, and before I even got pregnant I was battling a new 5-6 pound gain that wouldn’t go away. I kept thinking to myself how scary it would be to gain 20-35 pounds on top of what I had already gained back.
In addition to my own insecurities, I started reading stories of other women’s pregnancy journeys and comparing myself to them. Some of the talked often about how they can still wear all of their pre-pregnancy clothing or how their workout routines are still going strong.
Meanwhile I was ready to buy a pair of maternity jeans at 12 weeks and hadn’t stepped foot in the gym all summer. I guess I failed at the cute, healthy, pregnancy thing.
The truth is, as I’m starting to understand, is that my pregnancy journey is just that….IT’S MINE. And this time in my life will be a fleeting moment that I’m sure I will barely remember in a few years when I have my hands full of kids and other responsibilities.
Even my doctor told me…"ENJOY THIS TIME. IT GOES FAST". The doctor also told me to stop being so hard on myself about my recent food choices and my weight gain. I may not have been where I wanted to be weight-wise when I got pregnant, but this is the time that it was meant for me to get pregnant- and that is all that matters. I’m blessed and lucky enough to be able to carry a child, and for that I will be forever grateful.
And hey, maybe a little extra cushioning will make my hips softer and more comfortable when I hold my child against them.
My health is my responsibility and it is my obligation to do my best during my pregnancy to eat well and be physically active. These days my food choices are becoming more varied, and I’m still very physically active at my job (swimming, playing sports and running after kids). And for now, I"m doing what I can. Hey, the day is short when you can’t stay awake past 9pm.
Anyhow, sorry for all of the rambling- I just wanted to share with you all some of what I’ve been experiencing. My journey is just beginning, and I’m sure there will be so many changes along the way. Thanks for keeping me company!
“And hey, maybe a little extra cushioning will make my hips softer and more comfortable when I hold my child against them.”
LOVE this!
Your journey is yours, girl! Only you can do you best
Hi Val!!
Great post. Like you said, this pregnancy is all about you – and your journey will be different from that of others. Enjoy every minute of it.
Thanks Di- I am truly going to embrace my journey for it’s uniqueness.
I think you’re so brave to share your thoughts and experiences – and they will definitely help your readers (now and in the future)! You’re a beautiful (and more importantly, healthy!) pregnant lady!
Thank you Claire! I hope this does help others- I really had put so much pressure on myself to be the pregnant woman I thought I “should be”. I want others to know that your journey is going to be yours- and that may be different than what you had envisioned, but that is OK!!
Great post, but I do think you are pretty cute! Your doc was right— enjoy it!
Aww thanks Jess, you’re so sweet
Oh Jamie, I am so right there with you my “friend.” I have been feeling pressure to be cute and to stay thing (have you seen some of those pregnant actresses?). I’ve been so worried about ballooning up and becoming a whale before I even hit my second trimester. I had my 2nd doc appointment yesterday and my doctor didn’t even discuss my weight…which I like to think is a good thing. I too haven’t been in a gym in about 7 weeks and haven’t been making what would be considered the healthiest food choices available to me. I read in What To Expect When Your Expecting something about not worring about everything your eating (or not eating) during the first trimester, you’ll have plenty of time to get all the nutrients you and your baby needs. And I’d rather eat food that I know I can keep down that try and eat something that makes me want to vomit and then actually vomit it up later.
And you really said it best Jamie, this is YOUR pregnancy…this is MY pregnancy. All of our bodies are different and we cannot compare ourselves to others. I mean, we aren’t supposed to when we aren’t pregnant, we can’t be expected to when we are.
And hey, I was wearing prego pants and tops when I was at 11 weeks. Let me tell you, you will not regret it sister. They are stinkin comfortable! And they are worth every penny!
Sorry for my long comment…I just am totally right there with you!!
I super appreciated your post…your blog is about the only one I read any more. I can’t read the other foodie blogs since the food kinda turns my stomach and sometimes makes me feel bad that I’m not eating as good as they are…yep, my own insecurities. We all got em!
Thank you so much for your comment Tabs! I too have had to step away from other blogs because some have made me feel bad about myself and I’m not emotionally in the strongest place right now. It is actually what inspired me to start blogging again. I’m here for you!
Great post!!
By my 3rd pregnancy, I realized that it was my journey, my body and I embraced all of the changes that were happening.
Have a wonderful rest of your pregnancy!!!
Thanks Jen! I’m really hoping to embrace the changes- I think it’s amazing how the body just knows what to do. I’ve never truly appreciated all of it’s capabilities like I do now!
Absolutely amazing post. I am no where near having a child, but having an eating disorder leaves these kinds of worries in my head. You wrote this beautifully and I can’t thank you more for it!
pregnancy is truly amazing!!! And it’s so true that it flies by! I remember my first pregnancy like it was yesterday and he’ll be 9 next month.
I always love your honesty. And you look adorable with your baby bump!
I’ve been struggling with some weight gain due to stress and birth control. I have those same worries, “how will I handle this when I’m forced to gain weight when pregnant!” Maybe I’ll handle it well, maybe I won’t, maybe I’ll just have to let it be what it’s going to be when it happens. I’ll just have to pray I can give myself some patience and a lot of self-love.
I have the same initial fear, but I think that we will all be “cute” in our own way. I’ll never be like my sister who will most likely be the pregnant woman that just looks like she has a basketball stuffed under her shirt. We have to keep things in perspective and acknowledge what’s really important (as hard as that is at times) that if we and our babies are healthy it’s all that really matters in the grand scheme of things.
You definitely have a glow to you, Jamie. You’re beautiful!
Just found your blog via Lisa’s and am so glad to find another preggo! I’m 15 weeks today so we are very close. This is my second, my daughter is 3.5. I embrace those preggo jeans early! It makes much more sense to buy pregnancy clothes that will last awhile than just go up a size or 3 in clothes only to have them not fit in a few weeks.
I, too, get the huge belly at the end of the day, so funny! Looking forward to following along. =)
Krista
Hi Krista! So glad you found my blog! We certainly are close in our pregnancy- here’s wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months!
And I just wanted to add here that you’re not alone in those superficial fears. I think every woman has them to an extent. You do YOUR thing and know you are so awesome. You will care for yourself and that baby so well and that is waht matters most.
PS – People still wearing pre-preg clothing are idiots in my book because maternity pants are where its at. I would still wear them every day if I could without looking like a tool. LOL
you got it! this pregnancy is ALLL yours. pregnant moms dont talk about stretch marks and throwing up and the bad parts. You only see them at their best. Enjoy every minute!
Uggh I know, right! I want to hear the real scoop, not only the good stuff!
[...] Superficial Pregnancy Fears [...]
Hi Jamie
After you comment, I wanted to make sure you know how much I appreciate what you wrote. My friend that messaged me (leading to my post) is very similar to you and she wrote she was having a hard time reading some of my posts that were so weight focused. I wanted to make sure I addressed that and let people know that it’s really my own issues and my own insecurities. And I never ever want anyone to feel like they should compare or that I would judge them the way I judge myself. And like I replied on my blog, I am with Tina — I think those that wear the maternity pants early are smart ladies. They are infinitely more comfy! Now that’s pretty much all I can wear and I feel soooo much better than when I try to finagle my booty into something that just isn’t going to fit.
You have wonderful insights — keep sharing!
Thanks so much Shanna! I just read your response and I really appreciate your time and consideration of what I shared with you. I think that the whole pregnancy weight gain issue is certainly a challenge and for me, it’s brought up many insecurities. I’m trying really hard not to focus on it as much because this time is special in so many more important ways. You are a beautiful mommy to be- both inside and out, so don’t forget it! I look forward to continuing to follow your journey!